Zach is losing his job, this we all know. I thought that he was losing it at the end of the summer. Nope, in MAY! I have been stressing. We went for a job interview at a Crisis and Respite Nursery in Orem, and haven't heard back. He has put in over 30 applications, and still nada. Yesterday was particularly frustrating because once again he hasn't worked very much this week. Only 22 hours. It is really hard to pay all the bills only working 22 hours a week! So yesterday, I began to feel just really stressed, frustrated, and alone. We have been praying so hard, and nothing. I have been reading my Scrip
tures daily, and nothing. A couple weeks ago we had a FHE lesson about getting the "missionary glow" back. I don't get those spiritual highs very often anymore, and it ISN'T because of life, it is because of me. Everyone can have spiritual experiences every day, we just need to work for them, and lead a spiritual life. We challenged ourselves to be better. Anyways... yesterday, I was crying a lot and we would pray and I would ask Father why He wasn't answering our prayers, or at least blessing us with peace, yet again, nothing. Zach was on his knees for quite a while and a quote came to mind."I find that when I get causal in my relationships with divinity and when it seems that no Divine voice is speaking, that I am far, far away. If I immerse myself in the scriptures, the distance narrows, and the spirituality returns. "- Pres. Spencer W. Kimball
That is how I feel. I feel so far away from Him. I don't know how it happened. All I know is that I NEED to feel Him close again.
I miss His constant presence in my life, in everything I do. I WILL immerse myself more fully in the scriptures and instead of just reading the scriptures, I'm going to genuinely study them. I can't expect Him to bless me if I'm not keeping His commandments. I also believe that we speak to God through prayer, and He speaks to us through the scriptures, so I haven't been giving Him an opportunity to talk to me.
I miss His constant presence in my life, in everything I do. I WILL immerse myself more fully in the scriptures and instead of just reading the scriptures, I'm going to genuinely study them. I can't expect Him to bless me if I'm not keeping His commandments. I also believe that we speak to God through prayer, and He speaks to us through the scriptures, so I haven't been giving Him an opportunity to talk to me. Moral of this huge long story: STUDY THE SCRIPTURES, IMMERSE MYSELF IN THE SCRIPTURES AND HE WILL BLESS ME.
YOU ARE SUCH AN INSPIRATION. I FEEL SO MUCH THE SAME. I'M SO GRATEFUL FOR SUCH AN IN DEPTH PERSON. SOMEONE THAT ISN'T AFRAID TO DO WHAT IT TAKES. I NEED THE SCRIPTURES MORE AND I NEED TO FALL ON MY KNEES. I LOVE YOU GUYS. SO INSPIRING IN EVERTHING YOU SAY AND DO. YOUR SUCH A GOOD INFLUENCE FOR ME... HANG IN THERE, THERE IS A REASON FOR ALL OF THIS. LATER YOU'LL KNOW WHY. KEEP YOUR FAITH, DON'T FALL. YOU'LL BOTH BE STRONGER THROUGH THESE TRYING TIMES. LOVE YA
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