Friday, July 24, 2009

The AK vs. Bridal Veil Fallslgssssssssssssssssssssssssd,

Lately I have been thinking about, maybe even obsessed about Alaska. By lately I mean since Carla was 1 month old, so about 7 months.t2d4kz,
x r bbbbbbbbbbbb
xd fv 1 hx
mk9s xxf3
eezryyui6dsxzxsv Z -Carla's explanation of the whole situation

The adjustment back to Utah has been a lot more difficult that what I thought it would be. I get really frustrated and whine and complain to Zach about how I dislike living in Utah. Everything there is to do costs money and is far away. In Alaska everything was free as was within a 15 minute drive. Alaska is green and beautiful, Utah is a desert. Alaska has beaches, Utah has stinky, unswimmable, Utah Lake. Alaska has a steady dependable job, Utah DOESN'T, Alaska we have so many amazing friends, Utah we only have a hand full. Our ward in Alaska was so close, Utah ward, not so much. Alaska you could see the stars at night, Utah inversion makes it close to impossible. The two pros about Utah are, our families are here, and it is a lot easier for Zach to go to school.
Since I am always comparing Alaska to Utah, I am just not happy living here. So I decided to start doing things that I can to here. I go on morning walks, which other sisters in the ward come to, we went to Bridal Veils, one of the few free things in Utah, and started scrapbooking. I am hoping that these activities will help me see the good side of Utah, although my heart will always long for Alaska. We are planning on going back to Alaska to work next summer, and that is already making me so excited, and gitty. So having that to look forward to is helping also. I can't wait until Zach finishes school so we can move back, but for now, I will try to be happy where the Lord has brought us.

Thursday, July 16, 2009

Open House, Aunt Sue and Megan's Birthday

Vanessa and I. She is growing up so fast!

Alex and Megan. Megan opening up Little John's present, it was Carla's chew book! Little John is so funny! I don't think Carla would appreciate him giving away her toys. :)

Carla loves her auntie Megan! She really has a way with kids. She will be a great mom someday. I don't know what Jenn is looking at.

Why is Zach wearing my hooter hider? Your guess is as good as mine!
Zach said it is his cape. Tee hee hee!
Oreo! Little John, Aunt Sue and Phalinx (alex). Aunt Sue and Little John came to visit from St. Louis. She tried so hard to convince us to move to St. Louis with her! I WISH!
She is a professor at a community college and is so smart. She is so full of love and faith. I really look up to her. Amazingly enough, I talk to her more than I talk to my mom's or dad's sisters! I love Aunt Sue so much. She really is a light in a world full of so much darkness. Little John is just plain funny. He is such a great kid! I really do wish we lived closer so we could get to know him better. I love him also!
Carla also loves her Auntie Sue! And I know for a FACT Auntie Sue ADORES her!

I love the fact that Zach makes me laugh everyday. Most of the time it is at him. He isn't embarrassed to show me is silly side. I love it!

We were able to go to the Oquirrah Mountain Temple Open House on Saturday also. We left Carla with Mom and Aunt Sue and were able to have some us time at the Temple. It was AMAZING! Inside was gorgeous, we were awe stricken! There was a peace there that made all of the trials that we are going through minuscule. The eternal perspective makes our trials seem nothing more than little hiccups on our journey to eternity. I am grateful for Temples, for the peace, love, and warmth that is felt there. I am grateful for a husband who is worthy to take me to the temple. For his steadfastness in the Gospel. I am grateful for a loving Heavenly Father, who in his divine wisdom saw our need for a Savior and was willing to sacrifice one of His children, His most perfect child, so that we all might return to live with Him someday. I am grateful for my Elder Brother who accepted the call to sacrifice his mortal life to save each one of us. Thank you!

8 months???

I am so sad today. My little baby is not so little anymore. She is 8 months old today. She is rolling everywhere, rocking on her hands and knees, eating EVERYTHING, talking (well, sort of), laughing, blowing raspberries, rolling over in her sleep (just like her mommy), recognizing people (Dr. Nuttal was the first person she reached out for, yeah we see him WAY too often), fits into 18 month clothes perfectly, and smiles all the time. I can't believe that she is so big. I look at her baby pictures and can't even believe that it is the same baby. I am excited for every new stage of development, but at the same time miss the stage that she is leaving behind. We had to baby proof our house and our living room is now full of her toys, instead of our beautiful glass items. Oh well! I would a hundred times over have baby stuff cluttering our house than our stuff! I can't wait until we are blessed with another baby so we can have double the fun!
November 16, 2008 Day of Birth!

1 month

2 months

3 months

4 months

5 months

6 months

7 months

8 months

Carla mi hijita, te amo con todo mi corazon. Significas todo para mi. Le doy gracias a mi Padre Celestial cada dia por darme el privilegio de ser tu madre, y por mandarme una hija tan hermosa y carinosa como vos. Te adoro!

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Sad News...

I was so excited, my period was 10 days late. We were hoping that we would soon have a family of four. Saturday night I began spotting. I figured my period was coming. I was a bit disappointed. Then Sunday morning came. I started bleeding like crazy! I was soaking a pad every couple hours, then I started passing clots. by then, I knew what was going on. I have had two miscarriages already and the bleeding, cramps, and clots were all the same. I lost another baby. At about 12:30am we called our friend Chris Radigan, Rady, and asked him to come and assist Zach in giving me a blessing. When we called Rady, he said that he couldn't fall asleep and didn't know why. I believe it was because he needed to come give me a blessing. Before Raddy got there, I said a prayer in my mind that I would be assured whether I had been pregnant or if I was having a heavy period. In the blessing he stated that Heavenly Father was "pleased with my life," and that I "would physically be able to feel the hand of the Lord as He comforts me during this trial," he then repeated, "physically, not emotionally, or mentally, but you will physically feel His hand." He also stated that, "if (I) continued to eat healthy, (I) would be able go get pregnant again, and give that baby a perfect body." I felt an overwhelming sense of peace come over me. I knew that I had been pregnant but that I needed to miscarry, and that it was for the best. Zach and I talked about how we both were assured that I was pregnant, but that if I hadn't miscarried then, that I would have later in the pregnancy or that the baby would have been born with severe handicaps. I am grateful for the calm assurance that the Lord is overseeing us as we go through this trail, and that everything will be okay. I know that Father answers our prayers, and that even though we might not receive the answer that we are hoping for or want, it is ALWAYS the answer that we NEED. I am grateful for a loving Heavenly Father who never leaves me alone in my trials, and for an amazing husband who is always supportive and loving.


Saturday we had a goal to go to the Temple to do sealings because we hadn't been to do sealings since before Carla was born. It has probably been about 8 months! Not good. We had arranged for my mom to watch on Carla for a couple hours. When Carla awoke at 6am to eat, I tried to get out of bed when I had a horrible, sharp shooting pain from my feet up my leg. I couldn't walk or even stand on my foot. Zach was saying that we should postpone our Temple outing. I really wanted to go and I felt as if we HAD to go. Zach massaged my foot and tried to move it around. A couple hours later I was able to put some weight on it. We decided to go to the Temple after Carla's nap. We went to my mom's house and dropped off Carlita, and then to the Temple we went. Zach dropped me off by the doors and as soon as I got out and my foot touched the pavement, all the pain was gone. I was able to walk perfectly on my foot! I am so grateful to Heavenly Father for the trials in our lives to test our faith and to help us place our trust in Him. I know that as we strive to do Father's will He WILL bless us and He WILL take care of us. I thank my Father for the opportunity that Zach and I had to go to the Temple and remember those covenants that we made to each other two years ago. I love you Babe, saying "yes" was the best decision that I have ever made in my life. I am so proud to be your wife.

Sunday, July 5, 2009

Mother of 2??

No, I'm not pregnant, but we are trying. I recieved a phone call from Rachel Moody, this morning at about 9am asking me if I would mind watching Bella for a few hours in the morning. She had a ROUGH night and they weren't able to sleep at all. I enthusiastically agreed and walked over to pick her up. I just loved watching her, and since she was only 4 days old, just slept most of the time. Carla was intriged by her. I was loving having another baby in the house. Sadly three and a half hours later I walked her back home. It was so much fun and I hope to be able to watch her again soon. Although I'm not pregnant yet, we hope that I will be soon. We want our first two babies close together and then a little space for the next one, and then babies 3 and 4 close also. But whenever Father sends them is fine with us. It was a miracle that I was able to have Carla, so we don't want to postpone having children because we want to "wait." We are anxious and willing to bring more of Father's children here to earth.

4th of July

For the 4th of July we went to my in-laws in Herriman. We had so much fun! We played ladderball, card games, ate, and ate, and ate, and then went to Riverton to watch the fireworks. Carla didn't even cry during the fireworks. She was loving them, until she fell asleep and was OUT for the rest of the night. When we got home at 11:30pm, I nursed her a little then put her in bed. She didn't wake up until 10:30am. I wish I could have slept in also!
Ah ah ah ah!

Magdala, Jenn and I at the park.

My angel.

Croked smile.

God bless the USA.

Alex and I playing Ladderball.

Magdala and Carla.

Jen and Carla.

My love and I.

On the way home.

At the park watching the fireworks.

Family Hands.

Carla in daddy's lap eating and watching the fireworks.

Mom and baby watching fireworks.

Yellow Ducky

This face is classic! It makes me smile everytime I see it. I love how much personality she has in her expressions. She loves bath time and I love how excited she gets, even if I have to mop the bathroom floor everytime she gets a bath.

This is the way we brush our teeth...

I usually brush Carla's teeth, but she always tries to grab the toothbrush, so Saturday was her lucky day. She got to brush her teeth! So stinking adorable!